I have been spending far too much time thinking. Sometimes I can't even remember what I am thinking about or why it is an issue. It is tiring, for me and those around me. I have to take a step back and remember what my feeling was in those first two seconds faced with the decision. It won't be a wrong decision, just a different one.
Of course, secretly I want someone to make the decision for me or for there to be a major factor that out weighs all others; but there really isn't. I've made lists, talked it through, awarded points to both sides and it is still a draw (actually it wasn't, one side won, and I haven't chosen it yet...I still want the other side to win...perhaps!).
I am spending all this time in my head that I am not living life. I have not stopped to breathe or to soak up my surroundings and just enjoy being. I went away to Nairobi for the weekend, but could have been anywhere. I think I came out of my head twice: Once when I had lunch at the very trendy Artcaffe; I enjoyed pretending I was leading a glamorous life and was out having a 'working lunch'; such a novelty for teachers who eat in the school dining room or the staff room on a daily basis! The other time I was shooting at clay pigeons. I had quite enough to think about; in the shoulder, lean forward as to jab, cheek near the butt (always tricky !!), both eyes open, follow the clay...oh and relax!! By the time I finished my round only one clay was 'dead' - I am quite happy to score for others next time.
I am going to stop thinking about things now. But if anyone wants to help me make a decision let me know.
B or P????