Some words are easier

 

My words seem to be locked in at the moment. My throat is too tight for them to be spoken and time doesn't allow me to write them down just now. They are packed away in boxes, just like my belongings. They'll come out eventually. It is a slow process, just like the move itself. The physical process of moving and making a shiny new apartment homely is tiring. But I am using it as a bit of an excuse too. Cooking properly?...I have no oven yet...going swimming?...I can't find my costume...a short run so the legs don't forget?...I have unpacking to do. It is draining.

The school term is coming to an end this week. Another milestone for the year will pass. I'm not wanting to wish the days away though, happy for the clocks to stop a while. But I am looking forward to some time away, for the holidays to breathe energy back into my body. Time on a beach with the sun warming my skin, with sand in between my toes, with a new book in one hand and a cocktail in the other...then the words will come and a journal will be filled with stories of adventures had and memories made.

Back to school

The 'w' place is a bit of a maze, even for me. More buildings have been acquired and new rooms have been built. But things are coming back to me.
Things that I hadn't realised I had forgotten. (Like the instant love the children have for you and there wish to declare it on day one.) Brand new resources continue to get dropped off in my classroom, as I unpacked the globe, I remembered something else I had forgotten.

The country that isn't

So many things we do not talk about here and I am not going to be writing about it either.

Boys that I taught in Year 3, found me today, big grown-up boys that are now in Year 9,edging closer to adulthood. Too old to hug now or tussle their hair (too tall too!), with their dark moustaches making me feel old, but their cheeky smiles and charm making me feel proud.

New pupils stumble around looking lost. It is easy to do. I've been there. I remember being lost during my first week as a pupil in the very same building, looking for the way to a violin lesson, and being rescued by a KG teacher. I wasn't as brave as some of the pupils were this week. That was 15 years ago...or 16, I think. It is nice to be back.

It feels like home.

PS-I added a long side-note on my last post in the comment section. It is nearly a week since I wrote, every day is better than the last!

I've always wanted a tatoo-fact

This post is going to sound incredibly sad- as in, 'I am a loser', sad. Not, 'I am unhappy' sad. I realise that. I am still going to write it, then I will decide later if I will post it!

Saying farewell to Uganda  was hard, but I knew I was only heading next door. This time I am going a little further away and it is so hard to leave this green, lush land.I am leaving Africa. (Today in fact!) Leaving. My blog, 'Africa, My Africa' therefore has to change or I start up another one. The idea that I would leave the title behind, and Africa just made my chest tight. My heart doesn't want to go you know. I sometimes thought I might make my home on this continent. But, at the moment, it is good to go, I can always come back.

But, back to my blog, I don't want to start a new blog- as I will miss seeing photos of my adventures in Africa. Plus, it was hard enough trying to think of a blog title the first time round. Maybe I should just adapt it, like add, 'and beyond...'.

I joke that I think my life will bracketed into BA (Before Africa) and AA (After Africa) time periods. I am going back to the land of sand, a place I used to call home, but I think I have changed lots in the time that I have been away. Everyday my life is influenced by the people that live in this continent and the beauty that it holds.

I first met my lovely friend, Jane, in Kuwait, when we started work at the same school. It was her husband Sven, that I actually remember being friendly with first. Jane had just left Uganda after living there for 10 years and had not stopped crying since departing her beloved home. She would only come up for breath (between hiccups!) to talk about Uganda and life there. I knew I would love Africa, so I couldn't do anything but go and see why she was making such a fuss. I now know.

East Africa has been tattooed to my being. I am honestly not sure how I will be when I am not here anymore.

Oh-this did turn into a sad, 'I am unhappy', post- but I am not. There are lots of reasons why I am going to be running, skipping and dancing onto that plane...that is, once I have finished my 101 jobs to do before then!

Kwaheri Kenya! I'll be seeing you!

Lost in the moment

I haven't really said much about the 'w' place. Why? Well, I think if you don't know me well it makes me seem quite a negative or unhappy person. But that isn't me. The experience has been quite negative but as a person I hope and think I am (generally) the opposite.

But you know, this year I have cried more than any other. Even today, when you cry so much that you get a headache, you are all puffy. I couldn't stop.

Then my dad phones and makes everything better. Really.

The things that I have been wrapped up with this year, will soon seem so unimportant. I won't remember names of those I don't want to and money is only money. I realise I am incredibly lucky to say that. (The 'w' place are taking every penny I don't yet have off me because I am breaking contract.) If I didn't have such a supportive family I would have had to stayed for another year, in unhappy circumstances. But instead I can get on a plane on Thursday and leave the (bad bits) behind me.

It is all pretty draining. Sad, genuine loving farewells, but relief that I have other opportunities and can go.

I went to my last yoga session and sushi with wonderful people (including my amazing teacher) this evening and these are the memories I will be taking with me. All the other stuff, well it isn't really that big of a deal. It is at the moment. But I am leaving it all behind me and looking forward to brushing my teeth is soft Scottish water soon!

It has started

The end has begun.

I hate goodbyes, but I am welcoming the tears that are evidence of great times, memories made and lasting friendships, welcoming the tears because I have no words.

International Teaching-Choosing the Right School

Beware-the longest post in my blogging history...

 I rarely write about the 'w' thing.

Yet, I spend so much of my time there.

The world of International Teachers is a funny one.

It was only at a hockey tournament recently that I realised how 'we', the teachers, were at the peripheral of the Kenyan community. As I spent my Saturday rolling on balls and timing matches, I really felt, more than anywhere I had ever taught, that here I am the hired 'help'.

Many of the prep schools in Kenya pride themselves on the fact that they are not International schools, but, British prep schools that just happen to be in Kenya (hmmm). But this is not about schools here in Kenya...it is just a little check-list I use. In the Middle East, we talked of 'Mickey Mouse' schools. Schools that, from a distance, seemed like they ticked all the boxes (generally new ones, with amazing resources), but just were paying for their accreditations. Maybe this might help to source the right school for you...

A Mini Guide to International Teaching

Part 1- Choosing the Right School
(PS- I have no idea WHAT part 2 would be about...if there is one!?)

• Do not choose the country over the school. Remember that you will be spending A LOT of time at work. You could be working on an idyllic island, but if you don't have time to enjoy the country then you will be very unhappy. You have to choose the school because it is where you want to work, a place that you will be able to grow and develop professionally and that can offer things  that other schools cannot.At the moment, my new phrase is, 'I love Kenya. I just don't have time to enjoy it'.(If you do choose the country over the school, NEVER complain about work, as that is not why you moved there.) Saying all that...take that advice with a pinch of salt, as I definitely chose to live in Uganda, rather than the school and I do not regret it for a second. I think you CAN choose the country if you are near the beginning or end of your teaching career...but only then.

• Do your research on the school. This seems pretty obvious, but believe me it is the most important factor. I have never gone to a job fair, but I know that these schools are, of course, going to 'sell' their school to you. You need to do your own research into the country and school. It is best if you visit the school before you sign your contract. I have always managed to visit the school and it does help. Although you still won't know exactly what it is like to work there, you will get a feel for the dynamics of staff in the staffroom and you will get to meet pupils etc. Also, work out your 'take home' salary. On paper the salary might sound good and of course the school will say it is 'competitive' or 'good' , but is it really? Factor in costs like accommodation, petrol, household staff (yes-a perk of living as an ex-pat), security and food shopping. If you don't get to meet teachers at the school (before signing) ask about your colleagues. Are they single? Couples? Families? If there are many teachers married to non-teachers, it probably means that the salary is not very good, that it is hard to live off only a teaching salary. Once you have been on the international circuit for a while, research is mostly done by talking to friends/other teachers who have worked to tell you about their experiences. I have been teaching abroad for going on 8 years (ah! where has the time gone!?) and you quickly find out what a small world the teaching world is. There is always someone that knows someone in this school or worked in that. (That is why it is also so important to always do your best, work professionally and leave a school on good terms!) This all sounds so obvious, but really, when some young teachers rock-up to start their job, I wonder if they know where the country (that they have just relocated to) is located on a map. Worrying!!
 

• Interview the school. Remember it is very important that YOU choose the right school. Every school wants you to say that you will work for them for a minimum of 3 years (just say it!!), but there is no way you can do that if you are not happy. Find out if you think you will be. What can the school offer you? I have had to teach lessons as part of the interview process in the past. This is understandable and if you are a good teacher, will enjoy being able to 'show off' and use all your teaching tools. But what about the leaders and management of the school. Ask them questions. Do they have the same philosophies on education as you? Are they up-to-date with new initiatives and encourage their teachers to stay uptodate?Look for little things like a subscription to TES  in the staffroom.What do they have in place for Professional Development?

• Value yourself. Be confident but honest. A good school will respect the fact that you are driven professionally and if they employ you it is expected that they will help facilitate this. Does the school have positions of responsibilities that become available often?  If you want to grow and develop as a professional, you need to seek a school which has plenty of opportunities for you to do so and that values a teacher that has the drive to better themselves.

• Induction. If you are taking part in the Induction (for new teachers at the beginning of a new school year), it means you have accepted a contract with the school. But before that, you will know if the school is experienced with having international teachers and is prepared to support them with the move to a (possibly) new country. Do they have a forum for new teachers (a Facebook page for example)? Do you have school documents (medium term plans, schemes of work..)before you arrive at your new school? These will help give you a clue how well set up the school is for new staff. At one school I worked at, we were bused about for the first week, taken to the supermarkets, to restaurants etc...there was no time to feel lost or lonely. Another, my accommodation was not ready for my first week, I was left to get a taxi to work by myself...which I had to pay for and I bought my own map (as in, we were left to it). 
 

• Notice the small things. (Do this when you visit the school-if you can.) What is the attire of the staff like? If there is a smart dress code, then the school and its management team have high expectations on their staff and probably treat them like professionals. If it is casual, it may mean that leadership /management don't have much authority and professionalism is not valued.
 

• Study your contract and the package carefully. Money is not everything, but remember that it is one way that you feel valued as a professional. Everyone has tough weeks, but they will be easier if you are paid well. (See above-about doing your own research). Check out which area you may live in, (note, if it is by a UN, it probably means accommodation prices will be sky high...just saying!!)
 

• Think about what you want in the long term. If you are just in the international teaching circuit for the experience, then a year here or there does not matter. These teachers are called 'backpack teeachers'. But if you are in the for long haul, it does matter if you move from school to school frequently. Schools don't want to continually invest time and resources into recruitment. Choose a school where you can see yourself being for at least 3 years.
 

• Follow your gut. Sometimes, no matter how many lists you make about the pros and cons of schools, you just have to follow your gut feeling and hope that you have a great experience working at that school. (I once, on a visit to a school, that I then worked in, met a woman, whom I knew I wouldn't gel with or work well with. I thought it wouldn't matter. It did. My first instinct was right.)   

And if it doesn't work out, know there are plenty of other schools and opportunities waiting for you. Life is too short to be unhappy at work.

 Is there anything else I should add on to this mini-guide?

PS- If you are still reading- thank you! I am not surprised if you skipped bits and bobs...I obviously just felt the need for sharing!

There's somthing I need to tell you...

I'm leaving Africa.

For lots of reasons. (I've hinted at things previously, I just wasn't ready to write about it.) I feel positive that going is the right move for me at the moment, but I will still find it hard to leave.

I am in denial about it really. There are a few people  that I haven't told yet. Some I thought I had, but my mind was full of other things and I have just forgotten. Some, I just can't, yet. One person I found really hard to tell was my yoga teacher. (If I say it out loud, then it is really happening, isn't it?)

My yoga teacher, Oriane, is a teacher in every sense of the word. She challenges me in such a caring way and is passionate about sharing her knowledge with others (she also is good at making me feel bad if I don't do my homework...!) As I run, every yoga session leaves me breathless, telling my knees to just 'relax'. But these sessions have been one of my favourite things about living in Nairobi and I will truely miss them. Not just becuase of the yoga, but because of the friends I have met through the classes. If you are looking for a teacher in Nairobi, she it the best! (Her website).

Oriane-taken at our last weekend retreat

I have been so blessed to meet such amazing people during my adventures here in Africa.

Switiching off the white noise-the story behind the retreat

It is lovely to put up photos of the beautiful scenery that I get to enjoy in Kenya, the big sky of Africa and the animals that live here. It is lovely to hear comments about how lucky I am. But it is not always the life I get to enjoy; real life gets in the way sometimes. 

Last week I could have been in Barry or Beillericay (thanks Tania for the box set!!) as it is that time of year again...report writing.

I was feeling rather low, but that was not the only reason for it: I have lost my running legs and fear they will be hard to find again. I haven’t had time to enjoy the white shiny cafes and bars that I was looking forward to so much when I was in Uganda and I miss my friends that know me. My mind was busy with pretty negative thoughts and it was hard to swtich off the white noise.

Something I haven't admitted to you is how hard it was arriving at Jomo Kenyatta airport knowing that the African Adventurer was not meeting me. It. was. tough. I am not as tough as I think I am, sometimes. 

It has been hard to meet friends outside of school...as I seem to spend most of my time there this should not be surprising! I was a bit over excited when I drove someone I met at yoga home the other night...!Saddooo!

So...as a little pick-me-up; to help my body and soul get back into shape, I went off on a yoga retreat on the weekend. 

It was  held in a little lodge a few hours north of the city. I spent the weekend in the bush, beding my legs into Lotus, sweating in downward dog and attempting to lift my entire body on my little pinky. (Well not quite!!-but I do suddenly have muscles where I never had them before!) We talked in hushed whispers, preserving the peace and quite.  Spent hours gazing into the yellow moon and burning it into our memories - thinking only about our breathing.  But when my mind did drift, I thought about my friends and family around the world and thought about how lucky I am.

Oh dear-those photos of skies again!

PS- I met some lovely new friends! And I am off to yoga tonight to see them! Hooray!

Living out of a suitcase

My wardrobe  has become a bit of a staffroom joke.

It is now (officially) week 3 of the 'w' thing and I have rotated my 2 shirts, one pair of trousers and my one dress pretty well. I have accessorised with my 3 pairs of earring and tried to disguise my one dress with a flower on a pin...cunning!!  I have  refused to buy anything new, as I kept (keep) thinking my boxes would soon arrive from Kampala. Last weekend I broke and bought a towel...my kikoy was no longer cutting it!

On Sunday I received the good news that my boxes would be crossing the border on Wednesday, but yesterday I was told I wouldn't get them until next week.

Next week, when my boxes arrive, I am going to wear as many clothes I can..at once...and possibly have outfit changes during the day...just because I can! (I hope!)

Notes from Nairobi-The street where I live

This is my first weekend in Nairobi that is mine. There are no ‘w’ things planned or meet the teachers socials. I had drinks and dinner with some new friends last night, but today I just wanted some me time.  I hoped that I would be exploring my area with my new car (at 7am in the morning....the only time of day you can get very far in this city!) or would be unpacking one of my MANY boxes...but I won’t be ‘surfing’ until next week and my boxes are (deep breath...) still in Uganda. TIA.

This morning I had a wee walk around my area. Even though my little cottage is dark and requires candles or lights at all times of the day, and the Internet coverage is pretty much nonexistent, I think I am pretty lucky.

No hurry in Africa

The nerves of the move to Nairobi vanished at terminal 5. I had my Kenyan leather Ark bag and felt like I was a returnee, rather than a newcomer. It is not Uganda, the traffic is faster, but at the 'w' place everyone walks just as slow.  In some ways, it has all been rather, dare I say it...easy.

Saying that, there have been a couple of hiccups already; my new pad wasn't ready and my freight has still not left Uganda - but it is all sorting itself out. 'Blood Clot Man' got better and was able to move out of the (his/my) accommodation, leaving it free for me to move in. I have had no power since I have been in, but, in the dark it seems fine! The word is quirky. I have a room with the oven in, another wee room with the fridge in and then the kitchen...cooking could be interesting! But I do have a garden, something I didn't have in Uganda and apparently my area has some good running routes (when I unpack my trainers I will test this out!).

The 'to do' list on my classroom board is getting longer the more hours I spend searching for a car;to buy, to find, to make, to meet, to file, to throw out...but hakuna matata.
 

Notes from Nairobi. 1 - Someone else's city.

I'm back on red soil, a recognisable place, but different. I keep forgetting where I am and get funny looks when I thank 'Sebo'. Robyn, you're not in Kampala anymore. (Although, it is great hearing from friends that are just over the border from me...makes this settling in period easier!)

My soon-to-be-home is not ready yet, so I have not started to live the life that I will. For now I am guest in a lovely house, where I can run down to the pool to do laps ('can'!) , go to bed hearing the distant screeching of hyraxes and wake when the African sun seeps gently into my room (the 'w' thing has not started yet-hence a wee lie in!).

It is lovely being  guest in a new city. I was invited to join my hosts for dinner at the Muthaiga Country Club, where game  hunters used to meet and was a port of call for new arrivals in the 1900s...so it was fitting that I went as a newbie. It was another Karen Blixon  moment  - apart from the fact that I was allowed into the bar. A bit surreal, as I am sure I will not be going there on a regular occasion (translate-ever!) when I start work.

It will be hard leaving this little bit of luxury and comfort, but I am ready for my own space and routine, I need to get lost in the city to find my way around and I really can't wait to unpack (or collect my 21 boxes/pieces of luggage from Uganda when they arrive!!) and set up home.

Now, time for Nairobi

It is time to weigh my suitcases. I've finished all my panic buying (due to lack of suitcase space if anything else!), even though I am sure I will want for (almost) nothing in Nairobi. So it is time to get nervous about what lies ahead.

After such a long break from Africa and from work, my emotions are a bit all over the place. I'm not worried about teaching -I know how to do that. So instead, I will find other things to worry about (I get that trait from my mum!).Before I moved to Uganda I used to have sleepless nights and toss and turn, fretting about driving in Africa. That was a few wasted nights of sleep-it was all so easy in Kampala. It only took a week or two to know the city. It will be a bit different in Nairobi. This time I am stressing over finding running routes and hoping that I can just find a nice loop or two from my accommodation...toes crossed.

I know I will meet people, and some will, after time, become friends. But that part of moving doesn't become easier the more you do it. "Will they laugh at my jokes?" (mmm-probably not!!) , "Will I find a slow enough running buddy for me?" The thought of friends just over the border puts me at ease and I can't wait to have friends over for a weekend soon!

Little worries aside, I'm ready for the move. Ready for Nairobi and more African adventures.

My last visit to Nairobi National Park

I take with me great summer memories and promises of visitors. Memories of weddings, ceilidhs, tap dancing, LOTS of home baking, early rises and long lies, sunshine, running in the rain, running in the sun, trips on the water, being a tourist in Scotland, mussels, the Edinburgh Fringe and sitting at the back bar listening to the radio with Mum and Dad.  Thanks for sharing it with me!

Farewell Uganda, for now...

Thank you Uganda for being a wonderful introduction to life in Africa.

Adventures have been had along the dusty red roads with views of rolling hills and tea plantations and open spaces and savannas. Smells,along with dirt, have been etched and I know, even after time, I will be here again, brought back to my running routes or safaris in my memories.

My little home is now just a shelter and a place to sleep- my belongings no longer surround me, they have left, I too am now ready to do the same.

I am going home, to Scotland, before moving to Nairobi. I'm pleased I have this time in between leaving one life and starting a new. Time to close the window (well, keeping it a-jar) on one adventure before opening the door. Time to sleep and recover from the end of a school year before being positive about starting another!

Saying goodbye is always hard. Thankful that you made those great friends that are your family abroad; that help you sort out your car, listen to you over wine, get you out of bed in the mornings to go on runs and help you pack your belongings into boxes. But I'm not sad anymore about leaving, not really. I am excited about seeing my friends soon, somewhere, and sharing and catching-up on all our stories and adventures and having some new ones too. I joke that I feel like Arni in the Terminator, quoting "I'll be back!" to everyone that I say fond farewells to.

So-farewell Uganda,  for now...

Moving

I seriously cannot remember moving from Kuwait to Uganda being as stressful as this move seems to be. Maybe I am less ready for it? Maybe I put off starting the moving process for too long?

I now just lie in bed making lists, turning the light off, then turning it back on again to make another list.

I have about every hour of the day mapped out for the next 9 days before I leave and there is still just not enough time.

I was just asked by the 'w' place as there has been a mix up with my flight booking (deep breathes), if I would now be ready to leave on Sunday, as in, leave the country in 5 days time...my heart nearly stopped. Mmm...no. I still have to have my last book club and cook club sessions, fix a car, sell a car, finish the 'w' thing and all that entails, throw out, pack, have some Frisbee fun, play in the boda tournament, go to the hash, get to my last yoga session and say my fond farewells. No. Give me more time please...

Juneathon Day 14
From pure nervous energy, I figure I have done the same as a 3km run!!??

Foreigner

A visitor to my blog, who is new to Kampala, asked for some advice on where/how to meet people. I thought I would write this wee piece and hopefully help D settle in at the same time.

Foreigner

The call of 'mzungu, mzungu ' no longer makes me feel like a stranger in a strange land. I hear it as I run along the dirt road, avoiding potholes and rubbish, listening to my buddy chat away over my heavy breathing. I don't feel like  aforeigner, I just look it perhaps. I now feel 'at home', surrounded by my Kampala family; my friends.

When out celebrating my friend's birthday on the weekend, she toasted to her family that were celebrating with her, us, her friends. All expats feel like that I think. Having amazing adventures and experiences in wild and wonderful places is no fun if you have nobody to share it with. Our friends that we meet abroad, become our family.

So how do you meet them?

Well, I wrote a little bit about this on my Around the World post, but I will give you more details of my experiences.

The Eye Magazine is a good place to start. It is online, but the magazine is easily picked up around town (at Banana Boat and the such). There is something for everyone - ceilidh dancing, salsa lessons, sailing clubs, bowling clubs etc.

I do have to admit that as an international teacher, I do have it easy. Teachers and expat families remember what it was like in a new place and give advice on hiring staff, directions to the best hairdresser in town and numbers for their trusted tailor. But it is still so important (and refreshing) to have a life outside the 'w' thing. I joined the Hash House Harriers straight away (and I will do the same in Nairobi), a great place to meet some running buddies and friends. My yoga teacher, Helle (whose number is in The Eye) offers rooibos tea and often encourages people to stay and share after the session and get to know new faces. From yoga I met friends who were forming a book club etc etc, links to an all important social life are made.

When I first moved to Kuwait I joined anything and everything to meet people in the hope of meeting friends. The netball league, the choir and the chamber orchestra. I learnt how to dive (and went to dive socials...on quiet weeks!!), went to the Caledonian Society weekly and hashed. I then met friends and left most (not all) of those clubs! I am sure I will do something similar in Nairobi, then I will meet new people, who will hopefully become friends and then my Kenyan family. Friends to celebrate birthdays with, moan with on a rough day, train for the NYC marathon with (!!!), shop with and experience new adventures with.

I'm still a 'mzungu', but no longer a 'foreigner' in the land that I have chosen, for now, to be my home.

The Bucket List

I met with a friend for coffee after the 'w' thing today. It was lovely to have some 'face time' with her, rather than just reading about all her happenings on her blog. She is also leaving Kampala this June and we shared things we are looking forward to, things that we would miss and contacts for freight companies! It was so lovely that now I am shaking my head and sighing at the thought of uprooting and leaving my comfortable little world that I created here in Kampala.

I'm not feeling sorry for myself. It is my choice to go and I am excited to start a new adventure, but it is always hard to leave friends and familiarity.

So positive thoughts only! 

When I leave in June it will be more of an 'hasta luego' than a 'goodbye' . I know I'll be back. But I still have a wee bucket list of things I would like to do/do again, with friends before I leave. Time just flies and with at least two weekends-away already booked, I don't want to make my list too extensive and become a stressful 'to-do' list.

My Kampala Bucket List (edited on 13.06.11)

Go for dinner at Il Patio (although I will happily go again...yum!)

Listen to Qwela at Emin Pasha

Lunch at Rocks and Roses

Dinner at Mamba Point

Make it back to church one Sunday!

Dance under the stars (done many times over the past few weeks)

Stay on Andy's Farm (a friend of a friend who has land by the lake) - not going to happen

Get to Helle's yoga for a last Wednesday and Saturday session - can't see this happening either..

Help host a final cook club

Sit by the pool for at least 3 hours straight, one sunny day

Visit Owino market (this is in pencil...)- rubbing this one out
Play at least 2 more games of tennis I'll try and fit one in!

Have a last mani and pedi by Denis in June

Is this it? I think I have forgotten a few - I will add to the list as I remember them. Any more suggestions?