Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Lost in the moment

I haven't really said much about the 'w' place. Why? Well, I think if you don't know me well it makes me seem quite a negative or unhappy person. But that isn't me. The experience has been quite negative but as a person I hope and think I am (generally) the opposite.

But you know, this year I have cried more than any other. Even today, when you cry so much that you get a headache, you are all puffy. I couldn't stop.

Then my dad phones and makes everything better. Really.

The things that I have been wrapped up with this year, will soon seem so unimportant. I won't remember names of those I don't want to and money is only money. I realise I am incredibly lucky to say that. (The 'w' place are taking every penny I don't yet have off me because I am breaking contract.) If I didn't have such a supportive family I would have had to stayed for another year, in unhappy circumstances. But instead I can get on a plane on Thursday and leave the (bad bits) behind me.

It is all pretty draining. Sad, genuine loving farewells, but relief that I have other opportunities and can go.

I went to my last yoga session and sushi with wonderful people (including my amazing teacher) this evening and these are the memories I will be taking with me. All the other stuff, well it isn't really that big of a deal. It is at the moment. But I am leaving it all behind me and looking forward to brushing my teeth is soft Scottish water soon!


  1. Well, as you say, you have the opportunity to escape and write it off as experience. It is sad, but there is no point being completely miserable and like you say it will all be a distant memory soon!

  2. I hope you are able to remember the good bits and forget the bad. Am in a similar situation (also re; contract) and haven't found my solution. I am grateful for all that I am experiencing, and yet feel so utterly bereft at times nothing seems worth it.

    All part of the grand scheme of things in the end!

  3. Good luck! Be happy back in Scotland until you find the next thing, and good for you that you don't remain in a situation that makes you unhappy--and good for you that you are keeping everything in perspective and determined to take the good memories with you.

  4. Paul-do I sound completely miserable. I hope not. I'm not.

    Mud- Rubbish-sorry you haven't thought of a solution yet. For me, making the decision to go was the hardest part, sometimes I think I could have stayed to finish my contract, but I would only have been staying at the 'w' place becuase of that piece of paper-and that is not worth it.

    Barbara-Thanks. Scotland is just a stopping place-a holiday to see family and friends-then I am off again to the land of sand.

  5. Sometimes it is best to do what is right for yourself regardless of whether or not you break contract. It's not nice to be in a non-optimal situation and I'm sure you have your reasons for leaving. Good luck with the move and enjoy your last few days :)


  6. I think you are doing the right thing. The best thing to do when you are in a bad situation is not to complain, but to get out of it! I bet you are excited to get to see your family and friends and to be on Scottish soil again!

  7. Jenna-thank you! having a lovely time now that I am on holiday! Will keep you posted about the move!

    Kyria - Totally. Meeting my Dad in Dubai before I head on to bonnie Scotland. Not sure will sleep tonight with excitement!

  8. How did I miss that you are full Scots? I went to the McLeod castle in the Highlands. Amazing clan. And when I said I saw, 'Brave,' I meant I saw the new Disney movie based in Scotland.

  9. through and through Dancing Branflakes


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